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Cigarettes Smell Like Family

Written by Michele Houck | 11/1/23 7:19 PM

To say I started smoking (secondhand) at the ripe age of two is not an exaggeration.   We heard about lung cancer growing up, but until my mother was diagnosed, I was her caregiver. I had no idea about how much I needed to know and how to take care of her. To help others who may be in a lung cancer caregiving situation, please read on to learn about tools, organizations and resources. 

There was nothing unusual about my childhood growing up in Florida from the 1970s to the 1990s. Everyone around me smoked.  I did a quick inventory of smokers who helped raise me, and I got past 10 fingers and was still counting. For example, both my parents, grandparents on my mom’s side, most aunts and uncles, teachers, and neighbors; everyone smoked.  It was the 80s, and there were still smoking areas in high schools. Teachers could smoke at their desks, and BIG tobacco was untouchable. 

Writing this, I can't help but feel nostalgic for the smell of coffee, cigarettes, and perfume. This combination was the heady scent of my mother preparing for work at 5 AM. I guess she was at least a pack-a-day (20 cigarettes) smoker.  I wish she had stopped earlier or never started.  

Both my parents started smoking when they were 14 years old. From the late 1950s through the early 1960s, smoking was seen as normal and perhaps even healthy. In 1965, 45% of Americans smoked, and there are more ways to consume tobacco today. 

My mother died of Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer on July 3, 2017. My mother didn’t have long to fight while she diminished. It was six weeks from diagnosis to cremation.  Lung cancer was a blur of wasting away of a once vibrant woman. 

Lung cancer and smoking 

Lung cancer was once a rare disease, so rare that doctors took special notice when confronted with a case, thinking it a once-in-a-lifetime oddity.  

Doctors have now known for years that smoking causes most lung cancers. The first findings that smoking directly resulted in lung cancer were published in 1962. It's still true today when nearly 90% of lung cancer deaths are caused by smoking cigarettes or secondhand smoke exposure. 

The World Health Organization estimates that tobacco causes approximately 8 million deaths annually worldwide, a number expected to double by 2025. Smoking is disturbingly prevalent in developing nations.  

Why are smokers vulnerable to lung cancer? 

Smokers have a greater risk for lung cancer in 2023 than in 1964, even though they smoke fewer cigarettes. One reason may change -- not for the better-- in how cigarettes get made and the chemicals they contain.  

Tobacco smoke is a toxic mix of more than 7,000 chemicals. E-cigarettes can have even worse, unregulated chemicals, so they are not a smart substitute. 

Big tobacco and revenue 

In 2020, revenues from tobacco tax in the United States amounted to $12.35 billion (about $38 per person in the US) U.S. dollars. Big Tobacco is paying states back, but the point here in my opinion, is how disgusting it is that they can still create a poisonous product, make a profit and just pay a fine. Knowingly causing cancer is not akin to a parking ticket and money does NOT bring back your loved ones. 

Lung cancer is the most fatal cancer. Why? 

My mother survived three bouts with breast cancer but died swiftly of lung cancer.  She did not get screened for lung cancer even though doctors knew she had survived previous cancers and was in and out of the hospital for two months multiple times complaining of persistent coughing and breathing problems.   

Doctors told her she had bronchitis and to take something for her cough. None of us thought to press the issue.  None of us knew to ask for a special lung cancer screening. I still feel guilty. 

I want to help so the next several paragraphs outline positive steps you can take and resources to support you or someone you care about. 

What are the symptoms of lung cancer? 

My mother had all the typical symptoms of lung cancer but was not diagnosed until too late.  Lung cancer can seem to initially mimic a common respiratory ailment. 

  • A cough that does not go away after three weeks. 
  • A long standing cough that progressively gets worse. 
  • Recurring chest infections. 
  • Persistent chest and/or shoulder pain. 
  • Coughing up blood. 
  • An ache or pain when breathing or coughing. 
  • Persistent breathlessness, tiredness & lack of energy. 
  • Loss of appetite or unexplained weight loss. 

Not everyone with early lung cancer has a cough. The Lung Cancer Alliance states that about 50% of people have a cough in the early stage of lung cancer, before the cancer cells have spread to other parts of the body. 

Not sure? Take this quiz from the American Lung Association and their Saved by the Scan initiative. 

Who can get a lung cancer screening? 

Screenings help, but as I learned too late, you have to ask or advocate for it. According to the American Lung Association  

“Nationally, only 25.8% of cases are diagnosed at an early stage when the five-year survival rate is much higher (61%). Unfortunately, 44% of cases are not caught until a late stage when the survival rate is 7%.” 

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends yearly lung cancer screening for people who: 

  • Have a 20 pack-year or more smoking history, and 
  • Smoke now or have quit within the past 15 years, and 
  • They are between 50 and 80 years old. 

According to the CDC website,  

“People who have smoked for many years need to be screened for lung cancer.  The only recommended screening test for lung cancer is low-dose computed tomography (also called a low-dose CT scan, or LDCT). In this test, an X-ray machine scans the body with low doses of radiation to make detailed pictures of the lungs.”  

My mom was diagnosed extremely late in her battle with lung cancer, so I didn't have time to research. Caregiving, keeping her oxygen levels up, and spending time with her became my focus. She died within two months of a lung cancer diagnosis.  

Where can I get support for a lung cancer diagnosis? 

If you have lung cancer or are caregiving for a loved one in the fight, many tools exist to support you.  

  • Lung Cancer Treatment Planning Tool: The American Lung Association offers an interactive online tool to walk patients through treatment options, particularly those newly diagnosed. The process starts with learning about types of lung cancer, then provides a treatment decision-making worksheet and reference guide for conversations with doctors, professionals, and family.  
Caregiving and lung cancer 

My mama said that smoking was the major mistake that cost her life. She smoked from 14 years old until she was 50 and said she always knew better. In those last few weeks together, she told me she deeply regretted exposing her children to a deadly habit and secondhand chemicals. I could not comfort that pain. 

You can help and you don’t have to do it alone.  

The American Lung Association (ALA) has resources that patients, relatives, friends and caregivers can access for support as they face lung cancer together. 

Check out their lung cancer survivors support group and discussion community. The ALA Patient & Caregiver network is a nationwide, online support program providing direct access to lung disease management tools, education, and connection to other patients and caregivers. There is also guidance on how to help your loved one with lung cancer, how to plan for self-care, and how to raise awareness about lung cancer. 

Quitting tobacco is challenging, as I witnessed my mom and dad make multiple attempts for 15 years. However, it's a fight worth taking up, and no matter how long someone has smoked, it's not too late. Today is the best day to quit.   

Additional caregiver resources 

I know this is a difficult and stressful time for you and your loved one. Below are more resources that may help in your search for information and support. 

  • If you or someone you know wants to quit smoking, we recommend this resource from the American Heart Association. Their article is appropriately titled: “ Help! I Want to Quit Smoking!” 
  • The National Cancer Institute (NCI) has a webpage on Support for Caregivers of Cancer Patients which provides tips and resources on coping with being a cancer caregiver, taking care of yourself, and finding support groups. 
  • Healthline has an article on Caring for a Lung Cancer Patient: Tips and more that cover basic medical care tasks you may be responsible for as a caregiver for someone with lung cancer such as giving medications, managing side effects, and communicating with the medical team.