Harmony at Home: A Values-Guided Caregiving Approach

If the toll of caregiving is disrupting your peaceful home environment, you’re not alone. Many caregivers feel overwhelmed and guilty when weighing their need for a serene living space alongside the demands of caregiving.

Consider a powerful approach that can help you reclaim peace of mind: using your personal values as a guide. By identifying and honoring your core values, decisions that create a supporting home environment for you and your care recipient become less stressful. 

Strategies based on values can help you establish boundaries, prioritize tasks, and design nurturing spaces, all of which lead to a more balanced and fulfilling caregiving experience for everyone involved. 

Discovering Core Values

It may be helpful to read the following article before continuing: Value-Driven Caregiving: A Framework for Confident Decision-Making.

• Home Values: Prioritize 3-5 qualities you cherish most about your home environment (e.g., tranquility, cleanliness, warmth).
• Caregiving Values: Rank 3-5 aspects you value most in your caregiving role (e.g., compassion, reliability, patience).

Finally, contemplate how these values intersect and which of them are non-negotiable.  

Recognizing Value Conflicts

With values identified, prepare to discover conflicts. For instance, your fondness for a quiet, orderly home may clash with the constant activity and potential untidiness of caregiving. Further, your desire for privacy may be incompatible with the open, accessible space needed for your care recipient.

Acknowledging the spectrum of necessity is the first step toward resolution.

Applying Values-Based Decision-Making at Home

When facing a home versus caregiving predicament, try this approach:

1. Identify the issue: "I need quiet time, but my care recipient requires frequent attention."
2. Establish options: 
   1. Organize a caregiving schedule including designated quiet hours. 
   2. Create a peaceful retreat space in your home. 
   3. Arrange respite care during planned quiet time.
3. Evaluate which option best aligns with your highest-priority values.

If your top values are "tranquility" and "attentiveness," option “b.” might be best suited. You could maintain proximity to your care recipient while still enjoying a restful space.

Setting and Communicating Value-Based Boundaries

Clear boundaries are essential for creating harmony. Effectively establish and communicate boundaries using the following guidance:

Define Your Limits: Based on your values, determine what is necessary to maintain a “home haven.” For example, "I need one hour uninterrupted each evening to recharge."
Communicate Clearly and Compassionately: Discuss boundaries with your care recipient and family members. For instance, "To provide the best care possible, I need some quiet time each day. Let's work together to determine what suits everyone."
Be Consistent and Aware: Abide by your established boundaries as doing so helps others understand and respect your needs. Regularly evaluate whether your boundaries require realignment based on the current situation. 

Your Value-Based Home Plan

1. Identify and summarize the obstacle preventing you from balancing your home life and caregiving duties.
   
2. Recognize your highest-rated home and caregiving values.
3. Brainstorm options that prioritize your home values, caregiving values, or a combination.
4. Contemplate which option best aligns with your overall values.
5. Take one small step to support your decision. 

Managing Guilt with Value-Based Thinking

• Acknowledge your emotion: "I'm feeling guilty about needing alone time."
• Refer to your values: "I value both compassion and personal well-being."
• Reframe the situation: "By taking care of myself, I'm better able to care for others."

Remember, honoring your values isn't selfish — it's essential for sustainable caregiving.

Learn How Caregiven Can Support You

Creating a harmonious home while caregiving is a challenging process. Leaning on your values as a guide, decisions will honor both your needs and your caregiving responsibilities. Rather than trying to achieve perfect balance, focus efforts on fostering a home environment that supports and nurtures everyone. 

The Caregiven app offers tools and resources to help you make values-based decisions during your caregiving journey. Created with input from experienced caregivers, the app can help you create a more peaceful caregiving home environment. Sign up today to get started.