As months ebb and flow, May is recognizably one of my most challenging and it has taken me nearly a decade to understand why. There is so much joy to be found in May — after all, we say good riddance to showers and welcome flowers, end another school year, and embrace the unofficial start of summer. It is also Mother’s Day and my birthday.
Missing my dad on his birthday, Father’s Day, or the day of his passing makes sense. Missing him on the days when I shouldn’t have a care in the world doesn’t, except it does. In the movie Inside Out, Sadness said it best when she shared “Sometimes things have to be sad before they can be happy.”
Only recently, perhaps in writing this message, have I realized that the sadness I feel of not being able to celebrate my birthday with my dad is actually a gift. Remembering him does not take away from the moment or hurl me into the past, rather it brings his memory into the present.
A little bit of sadness anchors my happiness and makes it more meaningful. The prick of a thorn does not ruin a flower’s beauty.
Best wishes,
Eight years after my father’s passing, I still have a box full of important papers that not only guided his end-of-life and estate distribution wishes but also documented his life. From certificates validating his birth and death, first-grade report cards, and maritime licenses, it feels wrong to part with them primarily because I am unsure of their importance.
Caregiven’s documents inventory was created to clarify any ambiguity. Work with experts helped identify documents critical to ensuring care and memorialization wishes are honored. The feature is designed to help you understand what a document is, what it is used for, and how it will be relevant in your care journey. We provide guidance on how to obtain the document and what steps are required to ensure legality. Lastly, our secure vault empowers Care Circle members with the appropriate permission level to have immediate access.
“What if everything hadn’t happened to me but had happened for me? What I learned is that how we hold our experiences is everything.” ” — Demi Moore